


carpe diem

by Misaya



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Assisted Suicide, Begging, Bloodplay, Bottom Kylo Ren, Brutality, Crying, In a way, Light Angst, M/M, Necrophilia, One-Sided Attraction, Sexual Fantasy, Top Armitage Hux
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-17
Updated: 2016-11-17
Packaged: 2018-08-31 12:15:33
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,565
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8578210
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Misaya/pseuds/Misaya
Summary: Hux tells Kylo everything he's wanted to do, too late.





	

**Author's Note:**

> For the prompt at [kyluxhardkinks on tumblr](http://www.kyluxhardkinks.tumblr.com):
> 
> Kylo is near death. Hux will not stop him from committing suicide, but he WILL tell him everything he will do to his body. He will be so perfectly HELPLESS. Kylo is in awe… Begging for kisses, craving to die in his arms, cover him in blood. Then Hux keeps his necrophilia promises.
> 
> -
> 
> Written to: [Running with Insanity - Alcoholic Faith Mission](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=o8MjuKT_df8)

"Ridiculous," Hux hissed, not even glancing up from his paperwork. "You've always been one for the dramatics, Ren, and it would do you wise to see that I'm a bit busy at the moment." 

A heavy hand dropped on top of the papers Hux was currently frowning at, and he glared up at Kylo who, much to his surprise, looked far worse than Hux had expected. The frown melted off his face in increments as he watched Kylo's heavy breathing, the wince that seemed to be permanently creased between his thick eyebrows. 

"Not acting," Kylo muttered, his words coming out in sharp bursts and huffs. "Not pretending." 

"Yes," Hux muttered, after a short pause. "That seems evident." He wasn't good at this. "What...seems to be the problem?"

"I'm dying," Kylo began, and Hux barked out a short, frantic laugh, one far too high-pitched to sound natural, and made to sweep Kylo's hand off his papers so he could return to work. 

"There you go again. Your theatrics are too overdone." Hux picked up his stylus again and made to get back to the forms, but Kylo was far too insistent for someone who claimed he was dying. 

"No. Hux. Listen." Against his will, Hux looked up, was alarmed to see that Kylo seemed to have faded even more in the few moments that had transpired. A small nagging voice in the back of his mind whispered that perhaps this was really happening, that Kylo wasn't lying. "It'll happen tonight. And I..." Here, Kylo paused, looking uncharacteristically helpless. 

Hux's blood ran cold. 

"I'd like you to be there," Kylo finished, each word a struggled effort, and it was all Hux could do to nod mutely, his gaze following Kylo's staggered steps out of his office. Once the doors had hissed shut behind him, Hux grabbed for his data pad to call up the med bay and alert the droids there to an emergency before remembering that the med bay and equipment had all but been destroyed with the remnants of the base he could still vaguely make out in the distance. His fingers stilled as he contemplated a future without Kylo and found it lacking.

* * *

 

True to form, Hux entered Kylo's quarters at 1900 sharp. The other man was lying on his bed, regulation sheets tossed over him haphazardly, and Hux took a moment to admire the way the milky starlight from outside draped over Kylo's form. 

"Glad you made it," Kylo whispered, and Hux was dismayed to hear Kylo's breath rasping and catching on the edges of his words. He hurried over to Kylo's bedside, wincing in sympathy as Kylo groaned as the mattress shifted underneath the added weight. 

It was all Hux could do to keep his leg from jiggling with anxiety. "So. Dying," he spat out, as though the words were distasteful. He was certainly no stranger to death and pain and suffering, but this was different, somehow. Never before had it been so personal. 

"Dying," Kylo agreed, his head turning a fraction to look at Hux. Hux could feel Kylo's piercing stare on him. "Punctured lung. That girl" - surely he meant Rey, or whoever - "is stronger than I'd expected." 

Hux snorted. "Clearly," he muttered balefully, but his right hand crawled tentatively along the sheets to seek out Kylo's. It was an awe-inspiring, awful feeling, Kylo's touch so weak and missing so much of its characteristic brutality. "Can't you..." he started, hesitating. "Can't you just, you know, meditate your way into healing?"

Kylo laughed. It wasn't unkind, exactly; it was more like a finality.

"I could," he murmured, though Hux could tell from his tone that he'd already made his choice. "Don't want to. I'm done. There is nothing else, Armitage." 

"Sounds like you've already made up your mind," Hux forced himself to say, his fingers gripping Kylo's tighter. "Always knew you were a quitter."

"Hm." Kylo's laugh was pained, all the effort and all the air like gunshots. Hux couldn't bring himself to look, not even when Kylo ordered the lights to forty percent. 

"Look at me," Kylo commanded, and Hux could feel soft, insistent tendrils of the Force turning his head. It was weaker, and he could have broken the grip. But, he rationalized to himself, if Ren was dying, really, truly dying, it couldn't hurt to give in to his whims. 

Kylo looked worse than he'd thought. His face was pale, and in the few short hours Hux had let him out of his sight, he looked as though he'd shrunk. His massive frame looked like it was wasting away into the sheets, his lips loose and slack. Even as he watched, Kylo struggled to prop himself up on one elbow, wheezing and coughing, spitting crimson onto the sheets and Hux's hand. 

"Disgusting," he allowed, but his grimace was halfhearted at best, and both he and Kylo knew it. 

Kylo was rummaging under his pillows for something. Hux absentmindedly traced the constellation of freckles that dotted Kylo's arm and shoulder before Kylo turned and pressed something cold, shivery steely, into his hand. It was a knife that had gone missing from the bottom of Hux's drawer a few months ago, with an obsidian handle and a whisper-thin blade, that he'd confiscated off a Rebellion fighter moments before tossing him into the interrogation cells. 

Its beauty was cruel, delicate, the weight of it perfect in Hux's hand. 

"Do you want to do it?" Kylo asked, pauses between his words, turning his head every so often to spit up more blood on the sheets. 

"Now is hardly the time for innuendo," he tried, but the joke fell flat. He'd never been much one for wit, anyway. 

Kylo ignored it. "Do you want to do it?" he repeated, reaching forward heavily with his other hand and folding Hux's fingers around the knife's handle and leaving bloodied streaks against Hux's wrist. "Do you want to be the one to kill me?" 

Hux couldn't help the shiver that ran down his spine at the words. Over the past few months, Ren had somehow endeared himself to Hux, and this disturbed him greatly. 

When he took too long to respond, Kylo sighed, letting Hux's hand drop back to the sheets with a rustle. "I know," Kylo muttered. "Selfish of me, really, I suppose, to ask." 

Hux cursed his weaknesses, cursed the thin sliver of his reflection he could see in the blade among the sheets, cursed Kylo to hell and back. Snoke would be furious that Hux had let his precious Sith lord in training die to something so simple as a pneumothorax, and Hux was seriously considering throwing himself off the bridge once all this, whatever this was, was said and done. 

"At least tell me what you want to do to me," Kylo murmured, his tone pleading now, and Hux's eyes snapped up. Kylo had propped himself up against the pillows, now, his heavily-lidded eyes studying Hux in the low light. "You've been wanting to push me around for months." 

When Hux still hesitated, Kylo sighed. "Seize the day, general," he whispered, drawing Hux's hand to his mouth and pressing a loose kiss to Hux's skin. Hux could feel the soft sandpaper texture of Kylo's tongue against the blood he'd left there earlier, and the thought of Kylo drinking himself back in sent an odd shiver through Hux, one that had nothing to do with the knot of anxiety that had lodged itself tightly in the pit of his belly. 

"I want to fuck you," he blurted out, the repressed thoughts and waking desires of the past few months bludgeoning through him, full force. There was no longer any time for waiting, no longer time to pretend, and, hell, by Kylo's smug smirk, Hux could tell the other had known all about it. Thinking too loud, probably. 

"Yes," Kylo drawled, a pained whimper squeezing its way in. "Yes you do, darling." 

"Not your darling," Hux snapped back, longing to thread his hands through Kylo's hair and tug. Hard. Shake him around a bit, maybe, until Kylo was pleading with him to stop. 

"Yes, and then what?" Kylo murmured, and Hux flushed crimson. "We don't have very long, general. You'd better hurry. Tell me everything." 

Hux gnawed at his lower lip, and decided to throw reservation out the window. 

"Fine," he mumbled, sighing as he lay down heavily against Kylo, ear pressed against Kylo's heartbeat. Kylo groaned, a long, low sound that had Hux start to harden in his slacks, as Hux shifted against him to make himself more comfortable. One of Kylo's hands came up to rest against the back of Hux's head, to stroke through the short strands at the nape of his neck, and it would have been horrifying, this morbid comfort, if Hux hadn't already decided that nothing mattered anymore. 

"You've always been weak, Ren," he muttered, ignoring the way Kylo was beginning to cough more and more with the added pressure. He could feel blood spatter into his hair, against his temples, the thought of seeing himself later in the mirror all covered with red more erotic than it should have been. He twitched his hips lightly against the swell of Kylo's thigh. "But you've always been so damn stubborn. Refusing to listen to reason." 

"Agreed," Kylo gasped, his breathing wheezy and rasping. 

"I'd break you into behaving," Hux breathed, picturing it now, the great lord of the Knights of Ren broken and bloody at his feet. His hips pressed harder against Kylo's thigh. "I'll fuck you until you're dripping with blood and my come. I'll stripe your back with my belt. I'll scar my name into your chest so everyone knows whose you are."

"Tell me...more," Kylo whispered, his words a struggle. Hux didn't dare to look. 

"I'll pierce you," he whispered back, tears starting to gloss a fog over his vision. If Kylo noticed, he didn't say anything, and Hux was grateful for it. "I'll give you corset piercings and tie you up like a ten-credit whore. I'll tuck your cock into a metal cage and throw away the key so no one can touch you but me." 

At this, Hux's hand crept its way in between Kylo's thighs to grind the heel of his hand roughly against Kylo's crotch. Kylo yelped in surprise, a sound that quickly devolved into a coughing fit. Hux could hear the blood splatter on the sheets, could feel the soft patter of warmth against the nape of his neck. 

"Promise me," Kylo gasped out, and Hux pressed his ear to Kylo's racing heartbeat, harder. Anything to keep from hearing the rest of this soft torture. 

Kylo's fingers tugged at Hux's hair weakly, and when Hux managed to look up, he was surprised to see Kylo's eyes were shining in the gloom. 

"Promise me. Promise me you'll be that cruel," Kylo repeated, his lips scarlet. Hux swallowed, his mouth dry. Nodded, because it was all he could do. 

"You're sick, Ren," Hux spat out, his laughter bitter and cruel-sounding in the back of his throat as he braced himself against Kylo's chest and pushed himself back into a sitting position. The extra weight afforded him a spurt of blood that coated the backs of his hands with crimson, and his breath caught in his throat at the coppery liquid shine. 

"Kiss me," Kylo demanded now, his eyebrows furrowing as though concerned. 

Hux wrinkled his nose in distaste at the thought. 

"Please, Hux," Kylo begged, his voice breathy, and Hux was powerless to stop himself. Kylo's mouth was loose and sickly sweet against his own, and Hux had never envisioned himself in this position, not even in his wildest fantasies, licking the blood off Kylo Ren's lips and pressing his tongue in to taste more. 

Kylo was suffocating himself on air, his chest heaving after every kiss, his hands scrabbling on Hux's upper arms for purchase, and Hux wanted to laugh maniacally, drunk off the taste of metal in his mouth, as Kylo's heartbeats slowed to a dull thud, to a crawl, and then to nothing at all beneath his palms. 

Kylo had always been good at infuriating him, at shoving at the weak points in Hux's self-control, and this time was no exception. Hux wriggled out of Kylo's loose embrace, breathing hard, his hair falling into his eyes as he pushed himself back onto his knees and reached down to fumble at the clasps of his slacks. 

He hadn't bothered removing his boots, and he aimed a savage kick at one of Kylo's ankles as he shoved aside the blankets unceremoniously into a loose heap on the ground, his fingers attacking the loose drawstring of Kylo's pants and ripping them furiously away. The ankle made a satisfying sounding sort of crack, and this time, Hux did laugh. 

Kylo's body flopped loosely into the sheets, head face down in the pillows as Hux pressed down roughly on the nape of his neck for balance as he repositioned himself between the spread of Kylo's legs, heel grinding into the first knot of knobby vertebrae beneath the skin. His cock was already wet and slick between his thighs, and he almost asked Kylo where he kept his oils when he remembered that Kylo wasn't here to protest anymore. 

Grabbing at Kylo's hips with a force that was sure to leave postmortem bruises, Hux fed his cock in to Kylo's pliant body, which yielded reluctantly the corpse as stubborn as its owner had been. Hux swore, roughly, gasping as he forced himself the rest of the way in. 

When he drew back, his cock was slick with blood, and Hux had to close his eyes, tightly, to keep from coming at the sight. 

Kylo's weight was heavy in his arms, and eventually, Hux let him drop back into the sheets with a muffled thump. His thrusts were rough, indelicate, his bloodstained mouth loose around moans and hissed curses. 

Pleasure mounted in the pit of his belly, a tight, harsh knot, and he shuddered roughly as his hips jerked forwards once, twice, again, his cock twitching roughly as he spilled himself into Kylo's body. 

He pulled out, his cock sticky with blood and come, his chest heaving as he rolled himself to Kylo's side. Kylo's eyes were closed, and like this, Hux could almost pretend he was just sleeping. That, certainly, in the morning, Kylo would be awake and sore and complaining to Hux about something or other. 

The rest could wait, he thought to himself as he toed off his boots and let them fall to the floor with two satisfying clunks. He wriggled closer, dragging one of Kylo's heavy arms over himself and pressing his knee between Kylo's thighs. He could feel the weight of Kylo's cock against him, and Hux fell asleep to dreams of Kylo caged and chained and locked away in the black Gothic-style wardrobe he'd recently acquired and placed in his office so no one else could see. 

The knife he'd let fall into the sheets earlier placed a shivery kiss against the back of his hand. 

Hux scooped it up, careful to avoid the blade, and carefully, giddily, traced his name deeply into Kylo's chest. The knife clattered on the floor with two metallic pings as Hux tossed it wearily over his shoulder and curled into Kylo's stiff embrace. 

**Author's Note:**

> im on tumblr too, at [misayawriting.tumblr.com](http://www.misayawriting.tumblr.com)


End file.
